My Heart No Longer Beats for you
by stupid-unrealiable-vampire
Summary: bella has finally left forks to get away from the unbearable memories. in alaska she has started a new life when she collides with the denali coven, who are harboring a nearly suicidal edward.will bella give up her new life? does she even have a choice?


**_A/N: Okaaay, this idea popped into my head and i really like it and hopefully you all will to. Feel free to read any of my other stories and review pretty please with cherries/porches/Edward and a new chapter on top. :P_**

**_Disclaimer: Roses are red violets are blue i don't own twilight so you can't sue._**

**_Bella's pov:_**

Despite the fact that so much time had past; despite the fact that I had been through so much, the pain still engulfed me at any chance it got.

Of course I had gotten better, I didn't think of him for days at a time. But any little thing could set me off, and then I would be clutching my chest for dear life.

After months of unbearable reminders and pain spent in forks after his departure I have finally left. It's been hard, extremely so. Months of waiting, to scared to actually follow through with my plan. In the end, my entire life changed on an impulse.

_XxXxXxXxxXxXxXxX_

_**(Flashback)**_

It was mid January and small flecks of snow landed on the road and blanketed the omnipresent trees that lined the Forks highway. My eyes were glued open, for the first time in many months I was actually seeing what happened before me without the thick sheen haze that had blinded me since September.

Breathing in, the air was cold and stung in my throat and as I exhaled my air puffed out in steamy white.

Gloved hands rested on the wheel and impulsively one pushed the knob on the radio, which was dusty from months of disuse.

I had expected some loud rap song with heavy bass and screamed lyrics, the only kind of music I let myself listen to now, but instead came the melancholy beats of numb by Linkin Park. I gagged and swerved of the road, clutching myself in fear my fragile heart would explode. I felt as if I had swallowed a chunk of ice, leaving molten ice in its wake and finally resting heavily in my stomach.

My mind flashed as my memories took control. Linkin Park, Phil had given me one of their albums; I had listened to it for hours after I found out about Edward. It had been in the middle of this song when I decided that I hadn't cared; that I loved him anyways.

Tears blinded my vision and left salty tracks down my cheeks, through the haze I was frantically trying to put myself under I smashed the radio knob with my hand, and didn't feel the fiery pain that shot up my arm in consequence.

He was gone. He was really gone and he wasn't coming back, my fairy tale was over, my crown had been handed off to Cinderella and now I was stuck as an ugly stepsister.

A choked sob flew from my throat and I knew what I said was true. Here were the choices;

Option 1: Try to get over him

Option 2: kill myself

Suddenly taking a gun to the temple didn't seem to bad, my life had become forfeit as soon as he had spoken those harsh, cruel words to me, why not make it official? Why not leave this earth and its unbearable memories for eternity, why not finally fall into the peaceful bliss of the void?

_Because you promised_.

Damn him! Even as he was promising me the world he was getting ready to move onto the next girl.

_Clean break_. This is what he had tried to give me, he tried to rip the band-aid off in one swipe and give me the least amount of pain as possible. Of course it hadn't worked, I wasn't one for ripping off the band-aids; I was the kind of person who pulled a little up, ran it under hot water and pulled a little more up, it was a process. Edward obviously hadn't wanted a process, he had been so repulsed by me that he had wanted to leave my presence as soon as possible, shedding his old shadow and moving onto his next naïve lover.

And oh, how naïve I had really been. To think that that inhumanly beautiful creature had loved me. How naïve to think his smiles were only meant for me, his lips only mine to caress. And how naïve to promise him, even as he was breaking every one he had made to me—

And yet there was nothing I would have done differently. If I could do it all over again I would still love him, would still risk my life every moment I was with him; would .still die for him if necessary for his survival.

No, there was no way that I would get over my angel, but I would try.

The echo of his words were overshadowed by the sobs that racked through me as I realized the only answer, but it didn't matter; it was to late to turn back now and snuggle under the covers, this time I was going to do something fore myself, not him.

_XxXxXxXxxXxXxXxX_

The air was cold as I stepped off the plane and I immediately smelt the scent of crushed pine needles drifting in from outside. I clung my garbage bag to my chest and stared at the empty airport.

_What now_?

I was in Alaska. All the items I owned were stuffed into double bagged garbage bags and a hastily printed resume was wrinkled in my clenched fist. There were purple bags from the loss of sleep and my mouth watered at the smell of lattes from a café.

People gently pushed passed me as they filtered out of the plane and I joined the scuffle, unsure as to where to go.

The throng of people led me to the airport exit and I buried my face into my jacket and my hands into pockets as cold air and snow blew in as the electrical doors opened and closed.

The tops of my fingers were numb and tingling, my heart was beating loud and fast and my blood was powder in my veins. My feet were pacing on the sidewalk, my hands signaling a cab, but my mind was still in forks, curled up in the fetal position.

**_A/N: Like it? please say yes :P i'm sorry it's so short, but the next ones'll be longer, the more reviews i get the sooner i'll update!_**


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